I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
