seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
