OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
