Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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