Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
