I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize