They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
