i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Randomize
