If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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