Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
