Me too!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
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You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
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"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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