One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize