he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
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