so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
