mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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