More tranny stories later!
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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