Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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