im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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