My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
