I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize