I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
