THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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