One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
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since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
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Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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