We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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