whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
