I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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