just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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