The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
