Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
There r osticjed everywhere
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
