So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
