she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
