Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
