I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
