I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
