Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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