my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
