my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
