you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
