i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
