even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
