that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
