When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
