Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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