I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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