He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize