My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
