Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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