So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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