i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
