Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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