Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
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Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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