You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
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she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
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And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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