you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
