Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Randomize
