it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
