woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
