This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
All the doctor said was why
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
